My husband Michael part 2- true love or a habit?

 

These days I am getting ready for June 25^th.  I am trying to create a meaningful video that will show my love and appreciation for the man we all just can't stop loving.

Two years ago I created a short film of fans telling Michael what he means to them, it was a very emotional video, I loved the outcome. But as I said it's been two years, and so much as changed.

When I started thinking about creating a similar video for this June 25^th, while creating, and editing the video, I felt that something isn’t right, something was missing. I knew what it was, it was lack of authenticity. Not because I stopped loving Michael, that will never happen.

I have realized that I love him more today than I ever have, but I also noticed that my love for him feels and looks different.

 I always joke and call Michael my husband, but I came to realize that maybe things are a little more serious than seemed. lately I started thinking that maybe my love for him is exactly like a real life marriage.

If at the beginning I acted like a teenager in love, and I was loving everything about him, and I saw him as this perfect little angel, and I was excited about every little thing he said or did, if to compare it to a real life marriage I guess you can call it the honeymoon faze.

 That honeymoon feeling lasted a good three years. Which is more than most couples. I guess not actually living together or knowing what the other side is actually thinking about you, is the secret for a happy marriage. (just kidding)  

Naturally after four years the honeymoon is over and you get into a routine, that for me it raised the question, am I still in love, or am I just used to him?

When I first started noticing that I am no longer get excited about every picture or video I see of him, when in the past I started tearing up when I saw a picture f him smiling, it made me question if I am still into this whole thing.

 Maybe after four years, it's time to move on and give my time and attention to other things, because I am simply over him/it.  

I started wondering whether it is love or just a habit? Maybe posting things daily and talking about him is just something that I got used to doing, and I just don’t know how to stop?

You might laugh at me at this point (or maybe you started laughing from the first sentence) but whenever I have a question, I use google for answers, for pretty much anything, at least once a day I ask it something, you can call it a dependence, but what can I do? Google really do have all the answers.

So I researched and asked about love, how do you know that it’s true love? So first it gave me an answer about falling in love and it said,

 when you are in love with someone you'll start to develop strong compassion for them.

Okay, that definitely happened when I first started to learn about Michael, how could I not feel compassion after learning about everything he had to deal with?

And then it continued to explain what falling in love means, and it said

The powerful urge to be connected to this person brings new aspects to your relationship.

That I cannot deny, I feel very much connected to Michael, like so many of us do. We all have this strong deep connection to our Michael, otherwise we wouldn’t be here, right?

It also said that when you are in love you have a strong desire to learn everything about the person.

 that is also true in this case, I know so many little details about Michael, for instance when he gets nervous, he will either chew gum, or bite his bottom lip. It's just one of the many things I have noticed about his body language. That's how I knew he was Dave Dave on The Larry king show.

Well, that talks about being in love, I am no longer in that faze, so the question remains, is it true love or just a habit?

 So I continued and asked, how do you know when its True Love?

 

And this is the answer I got

True love includes respect, admiration, care, and never subjecting your partner to hurt, humiliation or any form of abuse. Many assume they are in love whereas it may just be an infatuation, a one-sided feeling, or just close friendship.

that was one of a few answers, here is another one I found

 

True love is a unique and passionate bond that connects you as a couple that wants the best for the other person regardless of what that means for them. It is the foundation for a healthy, loving relationship. True love is authentic and genuine.

 

Reading these two explanations gave me an answer, I do feel all those things, I respect him and his choices, I may not always agree with them, but I respect them. I definitely admire him, I absolutely care about him, I definitely want the best for him, so reading that really gave me a confirmation that I truly do love him.

And the fact that I'm not getting excited about every little thing, does not mean that I have lost feelings, it just means that my love for him has grown. Or maybe its more grown up.  Thinking about things a little more and reminding myself that if after all the crap I dealt with in this fandom I am still here, than it is for sure true love.   

So now that I got my answer, we can all calm down. This is not a habit, I am here because I am committed to show him unconditional love, and one of the ways I do that is by creating videos like the one I am planning for June 25^th  

Knowing that my love for Michael has changed I must change my style of videos .my style must grow with my love. And yet, I don’t want it to be dramatic or too emotional. So how do I show love and appreciation without being cheesy? 

I guess we will all have to wait until June 25^th to find out