Losing my passion for creation-is this the end?

 Losing My Passion for Creating: A Reflection on Six Years of Defending Michael Jackson

 

For the past almost six years, I have poured my heart and soul into defending my Michael and helping others see the truth about the man behind the music. It started as a passion project, a way to counteract the misinformation and hate that has surrounded his legacy for too long. I created a podcast called the *MD Love Podcast*, where I’ve delved into the nuances of his life, his artistry, and the unjust treatment he received. I’ve hosted YouTube shows, crafted engaging posts on Instagram, and, of course, maintained this blog as a space for deeper reflection.

 

But now, after years of relentless dedication, I find myself facing a truth that’s hard to admit: I’m losing my passion for creating.

 

When I first embarked on this journey, (2019) my motivation was simple—love. Love for Michael Jackson, love for his music, and love for the truth. I wanted to share his story with the world, to help others understand the man who, despite his immense talent and kindness, has been so misunderstood and misrepresented. The podcast was my way of giving back to a man who gave so much to the world. It was my way of defending him, of ensuring that his legacy would not be defined by lies and misconceptions.

 

I remember the excitement I felt when I launched my first episode of the *MD Love Podcast* (2020)

 It was exhilarating to share my thoughts and insights with others who cared about Michael as much as I did. The feedback was positive, and it fueled me to keep going. I expanded my efforts to YouTube, where I created shows discussing various aspects of Michael’s life and career. My Instagram posts sparked conversations and drew in a community of like-minded individuals who shared my passion.

But as the years went by, that initial excitement began to wane. The more content I created, the more it started to feel like a heavy weight on my shoulders. I was doing so much—podcasting, making videos, writing blog posts, managing social media—and it began to feel like I was always chasing the next piece of content. There was always more to do, more to say, more to defend.

 

It’s hard to admit, but the joy I once felt has started to fade. What was once a passion has started to feel like a burden. I still love Michael Jackson deeply, and my commitment to defending his legacy has not wavered. If anything, my love and respect for him have only grown stronger with time. But the act of creating—something that used to bring me so much satisfaction—has started to feel like an obligation rather than a joy.

I think what I’m experiencing is burnout. It’s a word that gets thrown around a lot, but it’s the only way I can describe what I’m feeling. Burnout isn’t just about being tired; it’s about losing the spark that once fueled you. It’s about feeling uninspired and exhausted, even when you’re doing something you care deeply about.

 

In the beginning, I could spend hours everyday planning, recording, and editing episodes for the podcast. I would stay up late writing blog posts, energized by the thought of sharing my thoughts with the world. But now, even the thought of sitting down to create something new feels overwhelming. The ideas don’t flow as easily as they used to, and when they do, they don’t excite me in the way they once did.

 

I’ve always believed in the importance of defending Michael Jackson and reintroducing him to the world. The media has done so much damage to his reputation, and it’s vital that his true story is told. But lately, I’ve found myself questioning whether I’m the right person to keep doing this work. I wonder if my efforts are making a difference or if I’m just shouting into the void.

The thought of quitting has crossed my mind more than once. It’s a difficult thought to grapple with because this work has been such a significant part of my life for so long. Quitting feels like giving up on Michael, and that’s not something I’m ready to do. But at the same time, I know that I can’t keep going at this pace. Something has to change.

 

Maybe what I need is a break—a real, long break where I can step back and rediscover my passion. Maybe if I give myself the space to breathe, I’ll find that spark again. It’s possible that taking a step back will allow me to see things more clearly and reignite the creativity that has been lost. I’ve been pushing myself for so long that I’ve forgotten what it feels like to create simply for the joy of it.

 

What hasn’t changed is my love for Michael.

 If anything, that love has only deepened over the years. I’ve come to understand more about his life, his struggles, and his incredible personality.

 I’ve met others who share my passion, and together we’ve built a community that stands for truth and justice. That’s something I’m proud of, and it’s something I don’t want to lose.

 

But I also have to be honest with myself. Continuing to create content out of a sense of duty rather than passion isn’t sustainable. It’s not fair to myself, and it’s not fair to the legacy I’m trying to protect. Michael Jackson’s story deserves to be told with the same love and dedication that he put into his work. the way I used to do it, for a long time.

 

 

I don’t know what the future holds for me and my work in defending Michael, maybe this is just a phase, a moment of exhaustion that will pass with time. Or maybe it’s a sign that I need to reassess my priorities and find a new way to contribute to the cause. What I do know is that I can’t keep going like this. I need to find a way to reconnect with the passion that brought me here in the first place.

 

For now, I’m going to give myself permission to rest. I’m going to take a step back from the constant pressure to create and allow myself to simply be. I’ll continue to love and support Michael Jackson in my own way, but I won’t force myself to create content when my heart isn’t in it.

 

If you’ve followed my journey, you know how much this work means to me. I’m grateful for everyone who has supported me along the way, and I hope you’ll understand my need to take a break. This isn’t the end—just a pause, a moment to regroup and find my way forward.

 

Thank you for your understanding and support

 And thank you, Michael, for being the inspiration behind it all. No matter what happens next, my love for you will remain as strong as ever.